Unsurprised
by Kye-kye cat
Summary: It's 8:07 when it happens again.  Oh well.  Matthew might have lost his balls, but at least she grew a backbone.  Fem!Canada.  Pairings unofficial.
1. Chapter 1

The time is exactly 8:07 at night when Matthew feels the first pains of _It_ starting. A soreness in his hipbones and pain in the ribs than stings with every breath. He hasn't felt this pain in more than thirty years but this time Matthew manages to make it to the bathroom before the convulsions start and he tumbles to the floor, limp as a rag doll.

Matthew isn't sure if he's really screaming aloud or if it's just in his head at this point.

The hip bones grow wider as the waist and ribs become slimmer while upper arms and fingers grow longer. _It feels like every cell in his body is on fire._ The trails of sweat and tears leave behind pain on his extremely tender skin.

_And then…_

…_Something wonderful happens…_

…The pain of _It_ stops.

Matthew just lies on the floor of the bathroom trying to stop panting, thanking any gods that listening because the pain is leaving. And with that he closes his eyes because every bit of pain has turned into fatigue. Sleep comes quickly.

* * *

><p>…<p>

…

…

…

Matthew doesn't know how long he's been asleep- Minutes? Hours? He draws the line at days. - but Kumajiro is standing above his head demanding to be fed.

He grips the counter edge and he feels un-proportioned just like the last time _It_ happened.

Matthew Williams looks into the mirror and stares at _her_ reflection.

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><p>So…good or bad? Please R and R.<p>

Disclaimer: I don't own.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own.

* * *

><p>Recap:<p>

_Matthew doesn't know how long he's been asleep- Minutes? Hours? He draws the line at days. - but Kumajiro is standing above his head demanding to be fed._

_He grips the counter edge and he feels un-proportioned just like the last time _It_ happened._

_Matthew Williams looks into the mirror and stares at _her_ reflection._

* * *

><p>He- no it'd be she again- closes her eyes and leans over the sink, taken back by the changes that came when she returned to a female.<p>

_This is going to take some getting used to again._

"Who're you?"

"Canada." She sighs, more relieved than annoyed. "I'm Canada."

"Hungry!"

"Go on I'll be down in a minute, Kuma." Matt hopes the nudge she gives him is enough for him to get the hint. She still needs a moment to digest.

"Fine, but I'll be waiting." She waits until the clicks of his nails on the hallway floor fades before she opens her eyes and straightens in front of the mirror.

Her wavy hair ended mid-thigh now and the red in it was more pronounced than before, but it was mostly at the tips. The color of her eyes remained the same, as did her skin tone, and height. Her face appeared more mature than before, surprisingly, and had adopted a solemn expression on its own. But the biggest change was of course in her body shape. Her hips had flared out, while her waist shrunk and her chest well… She probably rivaled Belgium in size. _Damn boobs. At least I'm not like Ukraine. Poor Ukraine._

What would she do for clothes? Most of them would still fit since they were so loose to begin with. But what about a bra? And panties? She really didn't feel like having people stare at her because she wasn't wearing a- "BIRDIE!"

_Gilbert?_ She hadn't even heard the door open.

"WHERE ARE YOU?"

His footsteps were getting closer to her room which meant he'd seen the light on from outside- Or Kuma told him.

_She was going to have to have a talk with that bear later for telling someone where she was when she just wanted a moment of alone time. And Gilbert of all…_

The smile spreading on her face could only mean one thing. Trouble with a capital T.

* * *

><p><em>Why do I feel like something really Un-awesome is about to happen?<em> Were Gilbert's thoughts when he came into Canada's (Birdie's) bedroom.

"Hey Birdie where…" His voice trailed off as he stared at the very pretty woman in his best friend's bathroom. He didn't notice when her head snapped in his direction and her 'Trouble smile' dropped. He was too busy raking his eyes over every curve on her body. _Verdammt! Birdie sure knows how to get 'em. I'm sure he wouldn't mind if I 'introduced' myself to her. _

"Hello." He started making his way closer. "You know würde gerne der Grund für Deine schlaflose Nacht sein." (I'd love to be the reason for your sleepless night.)

_Fuck yeah!_ He mentally cheered as her mouth turned into a sultry smile and the look that came to her eyes promised something positively _devious._

"Without even buying a girl dinner first?" She said in mock shock. "_Mon Amour?_" Now she was the one making her way to him- and backing him up against the wall.

"Are you sure I can't _persuade_ you to change your mind?" His hand had to rub her thigh as she pressed against him.

"Hmmm." Her hands were making the way up the inside of his shirt, lightly scratching against his skin. "You're more than welcome to _try_ I suppose."

"I can do much more than _try_." He started placing kisses on her exposed shoulder intent on making his way up her neck to those plump lips. "_Mein Liebe_."

"Ich sehe das genauso wie ich damals war, Ost-Deutschland." (I look the same as I did back then, East Germany.)

That certainly got him to stop.

"What are you…" His voice trailed off for the second time that day as he took a close look at the woman. More specifically the look on her face, it was the same one Matthew gave him when…

"Birdie?" He spluttered.

"_Oui_."

"Prove it." Gilbert challenged, after escaping from his spot between her and the wall. He wasn't turned on anymore _naturally_.

She merely pulled up her left pants leg- exposing a scar that he knew Matthew had gotten during WWII. But if she had it- it couldn't be a coincidence and that meant she was telling the truth.

"You know Birdie the offer still stands-" She didn't even wait for him to finish that sentence. Dropping her pants leg and brushing by him she left the room presumably making her way to the kitchen.

"Awww! Come on, Matthew!"

* * *

><p>Kitchen- (After pancakes and one awkward silence.)<p>

"So…" Gilbert started. "You're a girl again?"

"Golly, Prussia, what was your first clue?" Matthew didn't even bother to hide her eye role. "And about that I'm going to need you to pick up some things for me real quick before I go see my boss and buy some new clothes."

"Why can't you get them yourself," Gilbert demanded.

"I just need you to buy me a bra Gilbert, just one bra." She held out a piece of paper and money.

"But-" Matthew immediately went into what Gilbert called 'Puppy dog look of doom #3' complete with watery eyes and quivering lip.

Damn his weakness for cute things!

"Fine." He shoved the money and paper into his pants' pocket and turned on heel. _Better just get this over with._

"Thanks Gil."

Prussia was blushing at all; it was just the fall wind of Canada that made his cheeks momentarily colored as he stepped out of the house.

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><p>AN: There might be a bit of a time skip to right before the next world meeting instead of going directly to Matthew talking and trying to explain the situation to her boss.

I might write a fic about Prussia's trip to the store for Canada if someone asks for it.

Please R and R!


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia.

Warning: cursing

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><p>"Come on Birdie it's not like they'll even notice-" Prussia's words were cut short by the death glare he was currently receiving from Canada. "You know I didn't mean it like that."<p>

Her face softened at this but she didn't say anything. Plus she had been opting to draw as little attention as possible.

"I know, Prussia."

She bumped her hip against his meaning 'no harm done' and they resumed their walk to the conference room. They'd made sure to come early, since Canada had a habit of being late which would draw attention to her. Prussia had even come to her hotel room that morning to help her pick a suit. He had a surprisingly good sense of clothing on other people- most likely rubbed off from France.

When they reached the door her confidence decided to flee. Canada didn't even notice that her grip on Kumajirou had started becoming steadily tighter until he started to violently squirm in her hold.

"Sorry Kuma." Her grip loosened and she immediately felt her nerves calm when Kuma rested his head on her shoulder. "Fine."

With Prussia on her heels Canada walked as calmly as she could through the doors and sat in an open seat. He took a seat next to her- screw assigned seats, his best friend needed him.

More and more nations filed into the conference room, very few hardly sparing her a glance. For once Canada was thankful for her invisibility.

When Germany called the meeting to order she released the breath she'd been holding since she sat down.

All and all it was going very well, but like many things dealing with their kind it turned sour.

Germany had just finished giving a presentation- no clue what it was about- and sat down when North Italy asked him very loudly-

"Ve~ Germany who's that pretty lady sitting next to Prussia?" And just like that every Nations' was looking at her.

"Honhonhon~"

"Who's she?"

"I've never seen her before, aru."

"She will become one with Russia, da?"

"QUIET!" Germany slammed his binder down on the table. Everyone quickly stopped talking. "Now if you would all wait for one moment perhaps she would be able to answer."

Once again she was the center of attention.

"Canada." She whispered, it wasn't her fault that she wasn't used to having everyone's attention like this.

"Could you speak up Señorita?" Spain called from one end of the table smiling as always.

"I'm Canada." She shouted.

"Holy Shit! You got your boobs back Mattie!" Alfred yelled at her.

…

…

…

"What do you mean back?" questioned England.

"I was, uh, kinda-you know born female." Canada laughed nervously. "And changed gender on occasion."

"But you were-" "I was FEMALE when you found me, pedophile! Of course neither you, or England, would know that because you only wanted me for my resources and were a couple of NEGLECTFUL BASTARDS! As far as any of you are concerned it will be my decision to tell whomever I want the details you bunch of HYPOCRITES that ignore me 98.99% of the time. You can all go _mes affaires font mal au cul!_ And for those of you who don't speak French that means 'mind your own fucking business!'"

England and France both stared at her in shock, unable to comprehend that their sweet little boy had turned into this foulmouthed woman.

"Kessessess~ Way to go, Birdie!"

"Shut it, Gilbo!"

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><p>AN: I'm sorry it took this long to update but I had a bit of writer's block so...yeah. I got the French insult off the internet so correct me if wrong.

A thousand thank-you's to Neelh, who pointed out mistakes I made in Canada's rant!


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia.

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><p>"Soooo Mattie," Alfred drawled out. "What happened this time to make you change?"<p>

"Honestly Al," Matthew deadpanned. "Maybe it was because I got so tired of being forgotten and dealing with other people's flak all the time."

…

…

…

"What is it now, Alfred?" She sighed. _I honestly liked it when you left me alone more though._

"I'm just getting used to you being this way again. But as long as you don't burn down the White House again-" "Kiku's trying to get your attention."

"Yo! Kiku, dude!"

_Even if he was an idiot, he was still her brother._

It wasn't that hard to get used to being female again.

_Maybe I'll stay female this time._


End file.
